* Because my face isn’t made out of silly putty!
* Because I’m the oldest geezer on this podium!
* Because Covid doesn’t stand a chance against the Plague! (Or as I like to call her, Mother.)
* Sure, I wasn’t born here but I’ve been a proud face-eating Merkin since 1690!
* Stood by and did absolutely nothing during the Salem witch trials (and every single national crisis thereafter)!
* 17th century morals, 21st century technology!
* Backed by Genghis Khan’s progeny!
* No empty promises, just straight bold-faced lies!
* Free gimp masks for all!
* My son wasn’t on drugs but I am!
* May eat you and your offspring, but will do it with pizzazz!
Annika. Finally, a sociopath you can trust!